Being an English teacher is not always easy. You have to deal with a lot of different types of people, genes, temperaments, and the list goes on – aside from the above list, you are prone to find yourself in more embarrassing situations that an average person would never dream of going through.
Of course, I am sure we've all had some embarrassing moments that we'd love to forget about. Whether it was being caught picking your nose in public, someone barging in when you are "busy" sitting in the toilet, a wedgie in when you are talking to the guy you've got the hots for - situations we've all found ourselves in at some point or another of our lives.
As a teacher I have also had a few "embarrassing moments" but instead of trying to forget them, which any normal thinking person would do, I will share them with you my readers and hope you have a good read - who knows the laughs you get out of them may be worth the extra embarrassment in sharing them.
The first tale happened with me just a few days ago. I arrived at Henrique's apartment (a new student - works with Ximena) but since it was only the second time I went there I gave the wrong apartment number to the doorman.
- Apartment No.602. Henrique. I am Christy, the English teacher.
- Let me give it a ring.
After a few seconds the doorman put his head out the window. - Sorry Mam, but no one is answering the phone. If I am not mistaken the interphone in their apartment is under repair.
- Oh... well then, let me phone Henrique to let him know I am here.
- Ok, no problem.
I dialed Henrique's number and let him know I was in his apartment building.
- Come right up, come right up. Henrique said in his serious manner. I turned off the phone.
As soon as I did so, an older woman passed by. The doorman's face lighted.
- Oh, look! That's the maid of apartment 602. You can go up to the apartment with her. Let me call her over so she can do you that favor.
- Thanks. I smiled coyly.
I followed the old, dark skinned maid into the elevator while little did I know that I would soon find myself in an extremely embarrassing situation.
The elevator door opened. The maid rang the doorbell and a lady in her mid-forties wearing boxers and a grey baggy oversized T-shirt opened the door for us to come in. As I entered I scanned the room around me. The color of the walls were different. The decoration was sparse. A few meters away from me stood a young boy and an old, old man. When I first saw him I almost jumped. Shirtless with all his ribs and bones in clear view, eye pupils in the middle of nowhere, mouth half-way open with saliva dripping down - a complete vegetable - freakyyyyyyyyy! And then it came to me: "This can't be Henrique's apartment!!!"
- I think I am in the wrong place. I blurted out to the woman I supposed was the landlady.
- I'm sorry, what would you like here? Her wary voice gave out her suspicion. I guess she must also have woken up to the fact that I was inside the wrong apartment.
- I am sorry. Does Henrique live here? I managed to ask.
- There is no Henrique here, whoever that person is. The lady looked over to the maid, who then tried to save face.
- The doorman told me to escort her here. I was just following orders.
- But I came here last week, to apartment No. 602... I don't understand. I continued.
I was quickly escorted out the door, but not before glancing over at the vegetable man and the young boy that had surprise written all over his face. I bet it was the weirdest thing he had ever seen. A young, lost teenager barging into some random apartment and claiming it to be the same place she had been in only a week ago.
The door banged in my face. My mind raced trying to find out what in the world had happened. I opened my agenda where Henrique's address was scribbled down and then I saw it: Apartment No.1602 - the difference that a little number can do. I cracked up in the elevator at the embarrassing situation I had just been through and told myself I would keep my mouth shut and not share this little news with Henrique as he might just think I am crazy (which wouldn't be too far from the truth).
The other story I will tell here happened a month or two ago but because of its highly embarrassing content rate the following episode still remains fresh in my mind.
I went to give Jones and Sexual Fantasy a class at their company (usually we have classes at Jones' house) and since I arrived a bit early I stayed waiting in the reception room. When the clock hit 9:00 am I got up and went to the security guard that "checks you out" and gives you a "visitors" identification badge to pin on your shirt before going in. All the times I had been there the guard was a man, but much to my luck, a hunky-chunky coloured woman stood right in front of me blocking my way to the entrance door.
- Hi. I am here to see Jones and Sexual Fantasy. I am their English teacher.
- It looks like we have a problem here though, Mam. You are wearing shorts and it's forbidden for anyone to enter the company wearing shorts.
Since it's pretty hot here in Fortaleza I added the new "tights under shorts" trend as that way I wouldn't be with my bare legs out nor sweating like a pig. I really like this style as its real cute and since I wear them with trouser shorts and a social shirt to match it takes out the "sexyness" signals it might send off had I chosen to just wear the shorts with nothing underneath. But today it seemed like I made the wrong choice.
- But I am not wearing shorts. I mean, I am...but I am wearing stockings underneath them. Black stockings to top it off.
- They're still shorts you are wearing.
- Are you serious? I mean, if I was showing off my bare legs than fine, I understand. But I am wearing black stockings underneath them and for all I know they count as much as pants, don't you think?
- A rule is a rule!
Great! So much for trying to patronize her... let me try something different...
- So what am I supposed to do now? I can't just go back!!!
Hunky chunky female guard just shrugged her shoulders up and down as if wanting to say: "That's not my problem!"
- Mrs. Guard... I come from very far away, I catch three buses, standing up, with sweaty people, and I need to give this class (ok, slight exaggerations were used there - but I was desperate!). Last time I came here I was wearing a dress and the guard let me pass just fine.
- That's because dresses are allowed. Shorts aren't.
I really don't think I am getting anywhere...sigh!
And then my phone rang. It was Sexual Fantasy. Completely embarrassed I told him what was going on at the reception and asked him to help me out. I sometimes wish I hadn't, because help he did, in his own way. He got so pissed off at the guard not allowing me to pass that he called one of the main managers that called another manager and then yet another one and they all came to "check my outfit out" to see if I could enter since I WAS wearing stockings underneath my shorts. I wanted to hide my face as the managers with their "caras de safados" checked out my ass several times and then finally let me pass. As if that wasn't enough, the story spread through the whole entire company of the "hot teacher that was denied entrance" and until today people still laugh as they describe the three managers inspecting me so that I could pass.
Whenever I come home and tell my family the "embarrassing moment of the day" they just laugh out loud and confirm what everybody else tells me: "Christy, these things only happen with you!!!"
Great! Just my luck... :/
Disclaimer: ALL NAMES ARE FICTITIOUS - dates, places and events are FACTS!!!
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