Day 2: Arriving in Morro Branco!!!

WE ARRIVED!!!

 I am usually a very hurried person, but some things I hate to do

 in a hurry. One of them is writing my blog; but lately, because of a major shortage - or more, lack - of time I have neglected sitting down and stressing out as I write all that may come to my head and mind.

Dan in pain and Lani in joy, hehehe

Nevertheless, today I got a few quick minutes to sit down and go back almost a month ago when Dan Dan and Lan Lan were still here, the sun was still shining (I literally mean this as it hasn't stopped raining for a week straight! Bummer...) and I was still on vacations and not 

observing our weirdness

too much joy :D

heh!

glued to the tube...watching a 7 yr old's favorite movie!

quite enthralled there now...

Yippeeee!!!

first dip in the sea!

     working from 6:00 am till 10:00 pm (I actually stopped to count the hours and was horrified to find out that I work an average of 15 hours a day, of course, counting the time I am in a bus getting from one class to the other).

I don't think I have to write all that much as the pictures tell a wholeeee lot, but at the same time, not enough, and so that is where I come in the picture.

Thankfully it wasn't that hard for me to get up as my body clock works automatically and at 5:00 I am up and going. One of the things I had told myself when the girls told me they would be coming here was that I would make a special effort to cook yummy meals as one thing that I really appreciate when staying at someone else's place is having good food to eat. Since we are a vegetarian family (and not only vegetarian, but also extremely naturalists) I had to use a bit more of my creativity so that the meals could be both healthy and yummy. Gladly I can say it wasn't all that hard (or maybe I am just used to my own cooking, heh!)

- Rise and shine Upper East Siders!!!

My sister rolled around, Lan peeped an eye open and Didi pulled the covers over her head.

Ten minutes later they were all sitting at the table with tangled hair and wearing pajamas.

- Did I actually hear what I heard? Dan asked

- What's did you hear? I asked

- Gossip Girl... *frown*

- Hahahha...yeah you did, I exchanged it as "Good Morning God's children, it's a beautiful day" got kind of worn out.

 Uh hu...

- Listen we need to eat quickly as we still need to catch a bus to the terminal as that's where the bus going to Morro Branco is leaving, and it leaves pretty early. There is sandwiches, granola, yogurt, fruits and honey. Help yourselves!

My brother came out of the room next and joined us in our quick breakfast.

- Ah listen, I continued, here are sesame seeds. You should eat four spoons of it during your meals everyday as it's really good for your health. Specially you Dan, that have been sick for God knows how long and even ended up in the hospital in Rio.

- What are they good for? Dan questioned.

- They are good for a TON of stuff!!! Did you know that half a cup of sesame seeds contain three times more calcium than half a cup of milk? Sesame seeds contain sesamin and sesamolin, and these substances prevent high blood pressure by lowering it down and it also protects the liver. It's also a super good source of Vitamin E and so that helps to strengthen the heart and the nervous system. In a lot       of places they use it for beauty care as the oil helps remove wrinkles and other skin diseases. Ah, and a ton of other stuff...it prevents asthma attacks and other respiratory system disorders, Other sesame seeds health benefits include rheumatoid arthritis relief, regulation of body metabolism, removing intestinal worm, menopusal relief, faster wound healing, etc.

- WOW! didn't know it was that good. 

- Yeah, in India these seeds are regarded as a 'sign of immortality' and were even mentioned in the ancient Hindu scripts.

- But you didn't tell them the most important part - why we eat them... my sister played around.

- That's cause we are eating Babes...

- Tell us, I don't mind. Lani said.

- Okay then... the main reason we eat them is cause it's super good for your digestive health, or so, it prevents and cures constipation... or so, it's really good to help you cagg.

- Cagg like...shit? Use the bathroom? Go No.2? Didi's eyes went wide open.

- Yep! 

- Yucksssssssss!!!

- Yucks is if you can't cagg and have all that shit inside of you... think like this, if it's not going out of your body where is it? It's inside your body...all that shit!

- It's still disgusting!

            - Listen, how many times do you use the bathroom a day?

 You are actually asking me this question? 

- Yes I am...

- Once a day. Lani started.

Dan and her unlucky coconut waters

- Ummm...on good days once a day, sometimes less...like before I went to the hospital it was rare but after I started following the diet my doctor gave me I am a lot better... Didi explained.

- Okay, just for you to know, you are supposed to cagg as many times as meals that you eat. Like, if you eat three meals a day you are supposed to cagg thrice a day, and so on. 

- No way! The girls exclamed!

Morro Branco!!!

- Yes way! 

- So that means that each one of you guys uses the bathroom three times a day???

- Sometimes even more...if we eat more that is. 

- OMG! OMG! OMG! The bathroom must be always busy then...

- Well, better the bathroom being busy than us being sick and in the hospital. Here people rarely get sick, and like, whenever I get sick it's always stress related. You remember Dan that when I used to live in Rio with you I was always sick, no? Since I got here, and after changing my whole diet and blah I have rarely gotten sick and it's never for more than a day, like, I never had to not go to work because I was sick. And that's cause I'm a major workaholic...

- Yeah, I remember. Dan said.

barraquinha de praia

- So you guys are like, the "Cagg Family"? That had to be Lani!

By this time we were all cracking up!!!

We left home and went to the bus terminal where we bought our tickets to Beberibe (another beach town right next to Morro Branco) I sat next to Dan and we talked and listened to music the whole way there. It was just like old times. 

Arriving at Beberibe we got a cab to Morro Branco which left us in front of our Pousada. The whole idea of going to Morro Branco all began when one of my favorite students - Sexual Fantasy - mentioned to me that he would be spending New Year's there as every year his friends would rent a house there. I told him that I didn't have a clue of what to do for New Year's and so he invited me to join him. But not long after I receive the great news that Didi and Lani are coming here for New Year's and that posed a bit of a problem as there wasn't enough room for all of us (my brother and sister wanted to spend New Years together with me - so that made us five in total!). For a while I pretty much gave up of that idea but after thinking about it I decided that I REALLY wanted to spend New Years somewhere that wasn't in Fortaleza as all the cool clubs and parties happening were excruciatingly expensive and so, with that thought in mind, I started looking around for houses to rent both in Morro Branco and also a few other beach towns. By a total miracle, I found a Pousada (the mix of an inn/lodging room) that was new in town, didn't have much publicity which made them have very few clients as well. All this put together made negociating the price down incredibly easy and after doing the math, I noticed that the price was good - too good!!! Of  course, since we were five people and would be splitting the costs evenly that made a big difference on how much we were paying. 

Paparazzi

The Pousada was situated in the main street, two blocks away from the beach and 200 meters from the house that my student and friend, Teddy Bear, were staying. It was nice and simple, with a restaurant in the bottom and the rooms on top.  

- This is it? Didi asked

- I guess so. "Pousada Brasilia" my brother read aloud.

As we entered, Daniel came to greet us.

- Hi there! How was you trip?

the beach

- It was good. Very short trip, less than two hours. I said.

- Ah good.

- We would like to see our room and leave our stuff there if that is alright. 

- Ah, talk to my mother as she organized everything. She's in the kitchen.

Bro's Profile

- Okay, thanks!

We made our way to the dinning area and not seeing anyone in sight I guessed she was behind the counter where I presumed was the kitchen. 

- Dona Mazinhaaaaaaaa. I shouted

Adicionar legenda

From out the kitchen came an older lady, short and thin with extremly unmatching clothes and a big herpes on her upper lip.

- Dona Mazinha na cozinha!!! were the first words that came out of her mouth as she came to greet us (and that sticked to her as her nickname until today) For some crazy reason (happens more often than it should, always in extremly bad hours) I was overcome by a laughter crisis. I laughed and laughed and laughed so much I had to turn away and hold my tummy. To make things worse Lani, Didi and my sister joined in my laughter - just a bit less obvious. Thank goodness for my brother who saved the day and talked with her casually asking to see our room. As we entered our room I was plesantly surprised to see that it wasn't one room but actually two rooms glued one to the other plus a bathroom at the very end. Both rooms had a double bed and the largest one had a hammock which was where my brother would be sleeping. The rooms were clean and well ventilated and there even was a TV! Oooohhh...

We all jumped up and down while Didi, still feeling a bit sicky laid down to rest some. We turned on the TV and turned into little seven year old's glued to the tube watching a animated movie which was passing. hehehe... but that didn't last for too long, fifteen minutes later we were all in our bikinis, sitting down in a gorgeous beach under the steaming hot sun. Ahhh, isso que é vida!!! 

- Moço... my brother called the young waiter boy. Would you bring us five coconut waters please?

- They'll be here in a second.

- Thanks!

Me and Lani didn't even wait for our coconut water to arrive, we stripped down to our bikini's and ran into the water, screaming and jumping up and down for joy!!! My sister became the paparazzi and took pictures of our every move. When we got out of the ocean I laid my beach towel on the sand and laid down on it ready to get a nice tan -something almost impossible for me to do.

*Click, click, click* I turned my head upwards and there were both my sister and Lani taking pictures of... yes, my ASS!!! 

- What are you girls doing???

- Taking pictures, dããã

- So why the zoom?

- Ah Christy, don't be shy - if you've got it, flaunt it! Lani joked around

- I already am, no need to capture it on camera as well!

They both just giggled and continued taking pictures. No use trying to stop them. :(

- Hey Matt. 

- What Didi?

- My coconut water, I don't know...but it's kind of weird. It has a sour taste. Here, taste it. 

- Let me see. *Grimace* Yeah, it's bad. Let's tell the waiter to bring you another one.

Dan's profile

A short while later, there was Didi with another coconut water in her hand. 

- Hey Matt.

- What?

- I know this is going to sound wrong, but I swear, this coconut is also rotten.

sulking in the sun

This time we all had to taste it to believe it (why are human beings so, eh? we can never just rely on what someone says...)and true to her word, it tasted sour and old. 

- Man Didi, you have no luck. We all asked for coconut waters and yours are the only ones that are rotten. Not one, but two. My sister commented.

- Mine was perfect. Said Lani.

- No problem; let's just ask the guy for another one. They have to give it to us anyways. 

oh joy!

But poor Dan, she was really out of luck... the cold coconut water's were all done (they had just put some more into the freezer but it would take time to get cold) and so the waiter gave us two options: 1.) Wait until they got cold or 2.) Trade it for a bottle of water which was the same price. Dan choose the water.

My old friend Clari, also from Rio, was here visiting her family in Fortaleza and by pure chance was also here in Morro Branco with her cousin and sister. We planned to meet so we could spend the day together (as this was their last day here) and there she was, walking towards us with her bright sunny smile and flowing, long golden hair. I swear all male eyes were on her.

- Hey there!

- Clari!!!!!! I ran towards her and gave her a huge bear hug.

After meeting the girls we decided to go to the "barraca de praia" (beach tent?) that they were staying at. We picked up our things and off we went... more about the rest of our CRAZY and AWESOME day coming soon (hope so!) 

My Vacations - Day 1

They are gone and I miss them. But as they say, “memories are the one thing we can keep and that’s why we treasure them so deeply.” These last 12 days were amazing days, fantastic days. Days where I could just let my hair down and laugh into the wind, not care about getting up at 5:00 am in the morning or in wearing a suit and heels all day long. Days in which I just wasn’t available for anyone or anything and didn’t have to be in a hurry, all day stressed out about not getting the correct bus or arriving to my class on time. Just that in itself was great. But most importantly I had my Dan Dan with me and along with her crazy Lan Lan too and we had the time of our lives – something we'd always dream we’d do but we never imagined we would fulfill our dream so soon. And so now I will recount my Vacations in GREAT detail starting from the 29^th of December (which is when they arrived) until the 9^th of January (which is the day after they left). A TON of pictures will be included and as always, I will use fake names when talking about my students – and maybe some “not so innocent” too!

29^th of December, 2010 – 9:15 pm:
My heart is pounding. I waited for a whole month for this moment - but it seemed like soo much more time. The plane is a bit late as it was supposed to have arrived at 8:30; but fine, I am willing to wait a few more minutes. A big smile lights on all our faces and big, tight squishy hugs follow our smiles. And then the talking begins:
- Chris, I almost didn't come. I was soo sick that my Dad almost didn't let me take the plane. I had to take a tooon of pills before coming here.
- Aii Dan! You serious?
- Completely serious!
-Geez... Don't even mention it! How was it in Salvador?
- Oh, there were these rasta guys in Salvador when we were waiting for our connection that were major pot heads that were soo hitting on us. One of them comes up and starts talking with us and then his friend comes along and asks: "Are you making new friends there?" and the weirdo answers: "No, I'm trying to make new girlfriends..."
- FAIL!!! I shriek and we all start laughing...even being months away from one another it was obvious from the start that nothing had changed!
Dan was completely run down and blowing her nose every five seconds. I sat on the back of the car with her and Lani went in the front and started on some casual talk with my Dad as he drove us home.
To my BIG surprise, my sister Rose greeted us at the door and met the girls. You see, my sister is a usually shy and reserved person and always had some reserve whenever Dan's name was brought up  - since she is my best friend - and the last few days she was acting like a younger child waiting for their little brother or sister to be born: anxious but with a certain ammount of jelousy and caution towards the new "soon-arriving" member. But there she was at the front door with a big smile on her face, acting completely different to what I was expecting (or more like, dreading!) and I gave an inner sigh of relief! My brother soon followed along on saying "hi" to the girls - but that's no news as he is naturally outgoing and talkative. Just Mom was away giving class and only got to meet the girls later. Since they caught their plane at midnight and only arrived here at 9:30 am they were both exauhsted and needing some good sleep.
But before, we sat around the table and the girls had their first vegetarian meal: bread, cheese and tomato sandwiches. Yogurt, fresh fruit,nuts and dried fruits were also included.
Brunch over and the girls were fast asleep. I made use of the time first to make a quick grape/chocolate pave and then to do a few things I hadn't done in a long time: mud mask on my face, wax, eyebrows, manicure and pedicure, etc.
- Hey Christy.
- Hey Lani. Woke up?
-Yeah...too excited to stay sleeping for too long - I can't wait to get to know Fortaleza!!! What are you doing?
- Well, I am having my own "beauty spa moment" here and I am in the part which I most dread: manicure and pedicure!
- I don't mind doing others nails, I actually like it cause that way I can learn how to do it quicker and better when I end up doing it on myself.
- Do you want to do mine? *big grin*
- Yeah, sure! Do you have everything?
- I think so. Look in my manicure kit.
- Hah, everything is all pink. Ta patricinha, em?
-Me Patricinha??? NEVER! There only was pink when I bought it...but I think its cute, hihihi...
- You don't have a cuticle remover though.
- Ah, that's because I don't know how to remove my cuticle so it wasn't worth it for me to buy one.
- Well, I need one if you want me to do your nails. Is there a drugstore anywhere close by?
- Yeah, right around the block. We can go buy it.
And then we realized there was a problem. A SERIOUS problem: I had just done my mud mask. It was all green, wet and guey and not even close to being dry and ready for me to wash it off my face. We talked about it and weighed out our options but in the end the decision was made:
- Fuck my mud mask!!! I'm going to the drugstore and buy my cuticle remover anyways. Join me Lani!
"Are you MAD?", "I can't believe you are actually going to do so", "The whole neighbourhood will stare at you and it will be the talk of the town for the next whole month!" were just a few of the surprised comments that came along with my last statement. I just laughed aloud and walked out the door, Lani right behind me just shaking her head at my display of craziness.
And off we went. Lani wearing a shirt and shorts that could very well have been her pajamas and I, with my green guey face. I smiled inwardly feeling just like the Grinch in person!
- Lookiee there...Never have I drawn sooo many looks from sooo many people. I mean, EVERYONE looks at me. Self esteem "nota dez". Adoroooo.
Lani just laughed. - You're crazy Christy!!!
Before arriving at the drugstore we passed a car fix shop.
- I pass by here everyday when going to catch the bus to go to work and also when I come back home so the dear mechanics get to see me at least twice a day. Sometimes even more if it's a day that I come back home for lunch. Anyways, they are my major fans. They always have the most loving and sincere coments to scream out when I pass their way. You wondered why my self-esteem is so high? The mechanics deserve all the credit for that. More than usual, I pass here running - like, if I am late for class or something - and that's when I get the most feedback on their part. The most usual one is: "Quanta saudeeeeee!" Ewwww!!!!!!!!!!
Me and Lani fell into laugher and I continued kidding around:
- The best time was once when I was running I hear one of them scream: "Run Forest, Run!!!" I mean, at least it shows he has some culture as he must have watched the movie in English, no?
More laughs on both our sides.
- Oh well, look at that. Today they were just able to stare, mouths agape. My Grinch beauty is too much for their eyes. See, I literally left them speachless - not a single comment from their side - ahhh, I must do this more often.
As soon as we entered the drugstore all eyes glued on me as was very much expected. Me and Lani took our time, acted like shopping around with a green mud mask was the most normal thing ever and then left the drugstore once again bursting in laugher. The experience (and shocked expressions) were more than worth it but I am not planning on repeating the experience anytime soon.
Lani is an incredible manicurist and as she did my nails we caught up on the latest news and most everything that had been going on in the last few months. Dan woke up and joined us in the talk.
One thing concerning men that once again became clear to me as we had our girl talk is how men are and will always be men. Well, duhhhh...but what I meant with that is that men have a way of making us girls stupid, crazy, fragile and dumb - and also make us do for them what many times we wouldn't do for ourselves - sad to say...
And one thing that makes me freeze and breaks my heart at the same time is seeing my best friend in tears...and yes, as you must have guessed, over her boyfriend. They have been dating over six months now and have a relationship that I am sure many people with twice and even thrice their ages dream of having - and yet, even they have problems and difficuties. I once read a quote from Oscar Wilde that said that the heart was made to be broken and I can't help but completely agree with him on that one; though I wish it wasn't so. And yet a funny truth that I have come to know in my life but yet, oh so many times forget is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you end up suffering and each time its for smaller and more insignificant things as those things begin to torture you because your fear in once again being hurt has become so great that you just can't control it. And that's when shit happens. 
But if you look at suffering as being part of existance and that its part of pretty much every action we do in our lives: eating, drinking, friendship, meeting new people, work, excercise, partying, sports, driving, sleeping and even using the bathroom (don't tell me you've never suffered of constipation :P) then suffering can take a whole new meaning in your life because you are prepared for it. You know it's coming some time or another and you don't shut yourself off or promise yourself that "it will never happen again"; instead you recognize it when it knocks at your doorstep and then decide the best way to get up and get over it - and that makes all the difference. 
As Woody Allen put it: “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.” Or so, in the end it's all confusing. 
Anyways, enough about suffering and on to the rest of my wonderful vacations!
There are handicraft shops all around the city, but the best place to go is the Feirinha da Beira Mar and that's where we find ourselves in front of at 5:30 pm. It's a Beach front fair that opens daily from about 4 PM till 11 PM. The state of Ceará has a large textile industry, and arguably the cheapest clothing in Brazil. This fair has a large number of stalls and shops, and competition drives the prices down making you spend at the end of the night more than you know you should have. Since it's only about a 7 minute drive and a 15 minute walk from my house I come quite often around as it's a great place to relax - especially before the flea market has opened - as that way I am not tempted with shopping and can easily walk the whole avenue in less than 45 minutes enjoying the ocean view, sceneries, temperature and breeze flowing through my hair - not to mention the wide range of people from all over the world that I watch pass by and try to figure out their lifestory as I sit down with my coconut water in hand at the end of the afternoon.
Didi and Lani go from one stall to the other, while me and my sister follow close behind. Each one of us holds a plastic bag with some item (or items) that we just bought after much barganing: bikinis, local handicraft, clothes and jewlery. A lot of jewlery. Didi starts feeling real sick once again so I stop at a bench with her while Lani and Babes run along to shop for a New Year's dress. 
As soon as we sit down the words start pouring through my mouth and they don't stop anytime soon. You see, Dan Dan isn't the only one "suffering because of love". So am I. And then again I'm not. Yes, I know, it's pretty confusing so let me explain. I like this guy. This student of mine. And yet he doesn't know I like him (or at least I don't think so). And sometimes I swear he likes me too. But I can't be sure of it. I don't want to be sure of it because I can't, I just can't let myself get involved with a student. It brings no good. It never has. It happened once and I promised myself it would never happen again. But my feelings for this student are a whole lot more than I ever expected or wanted them to get to. So what do I do? I keep those feelings to myself and transform them into acts of friendship. And yes, that's where comes the good part, the reason that I say I am not exactly suffering: we are now good friends. Like, REALLY great friends. I spend a lot of time with him. Before class, during class and after class. I know most his friends, his roomate, his workmates, even his boss!!! And we talk, oh how we talk! He is actually a reserved and quiet person but we manage to have the longest and most frank talks with one another. And so I suffer because I know I can't be with him and will never be able to as it's just off limits - and yet I am happy at the same time because I believe that our friendship is worth it and who knows, maybe even better than if I could stay with him. Because even if I wasn't his teacher and had met him under other circumstances, who said he would even actually want to stay with me?!!! And so I tell all of this to my Dan Dan and she listens attentively as she always did. My rambling goes on and on until Lani and Babes finallly come back with another plastic bag containing Lani's New Year's dress. 
Time goes by quickly and we end our wonderful night out by munching on some cashew nuts covered in molasses and sesamee seeds. Yummsssssssssss...
- We're home! I anounce as we barge into the front door.
- Christy...I am feeling bad. Really bad.
- You should rest Didi as tomorrow we are traveling to Morro Branco, no Christy? asks Lani
- Yeah we are, real early in the morning. I plan on us all waking up at around 6:00 am as the bus to Morro Branco leaves at 8:00 am on the dot! Everyone needs to have their backpacks ready so that we just wake up, have breakfast and go out the door. We need to catch a bus to the main bus terminal here in Fortaleza as that's where the bus will be leaving from. If we don't get there on time we will have to wait until 10:30 am as that's when the next bus leaves.
- That's a long wait!!! We should definately get there on time. Lani says
- Yeah. I continue. And the earlier we get to Morro Branco tomorrow the longer we will be able to make the most of our first day there - plus, it's the only day Clari is going to be there and I really want to see her. 


I had already packed my things to travel the day before so I helped everyone in their own personal packing. By the time we were done it was real late but we still stopped to eat the grape pave before going to bed. Everyone concluded it had the most exotic taste a pave could ask to have but bowls were scraped and mouths were filled. Goodnights were said and off we went to bed excited with the new day ahead!!!

In Memory of My Dear Blee...

Honey I am sitting down now at 1 am in the morning not being able to go to sleep because I want to talk to you so bad and tell you so many things I should have said but never did. I started reminiscing from the very first day that we met when I was 11 and you were 13 until our last moments together. You were into "Backstreet Boys" and I remember how you once announced at the breakfast table that you dreamt that night that you were getting married with Nick (main Backstreet Boys singer). We all cracked up and you soon joined us. You were the only girl that could win a wrestle match with one of the guys, the best at helping us steal chocolates from the pantry and watching "Power Rangers" behind the adults back at "getout time" was the highlight of our day.   
 And then I moved and only got back to seeing you about five years later. I must have spent three days at the house you were staying and I felt completely out of place when I first arrived. Yet there you were there to save the day! Not only did you come to talk to me and make me feel completely at home but you also fed me, lent me your towel to shower, made sure my bed was made and I had enough covers so I wouldn't feel cold, offered to lend me your makeup and treated me as if I was the most special person in the world. You always had a way of making everyone feel like they were the most important person ever and feeling unique was something that would happen whenever I was at your side. I also remember thinking what an excellent teacher you were as I watched you take care of my two year old nephew who just loved you to bits and pieces and would cry whenever taken away from you. And then the last night that I was there we sat down in the classroom and talked until the wee hours of the night - and from there a close friendship began.
As soon as I returned to Fortaleza you surprised me with the following orkut testimonial: “Christy.. there arent words to decribe the joy and the life you bring with you! Seeing you again was a gift God gave me, to assure me that he was there and that he cared. The way you still love and care for me now show me just how deep his love is. Its pretty screwy... doesnt make much sense other than to me. But you are an exceptional creation. Beautiful inside and outside. Thank you so much for everything that you've given to me. The memories, i take with me.. and i hope that someday soon ill be able to see you again, and that we can pick up right where we left off like we did this last time. I love you so much honey. It goes beyond the minds comprehension. Keep being Gods light... and yea miss me.. har har”
And from there we started writing our long emails, you remember no? Your emails honey were the best thing that would happen to me during the whole week as I knew that by receiving an email from you I could then write you back and tell you all I was going through too. You always knew how to make me feel better about what I was going through at the time and your positive attitude on life would make me want to be just like you: happy no matter what came your way. 
And then a shocking email came. You told me you were going to the States to start anew! I didn't like the idea that you would be so far away but was glad in seeing you so glad too. Right before you left you sent me another little message that completely made my day: “Just passed by to thank you once more for sticking through with me through my transition. Not too many ppl have shown me the love and trust and yea faith that youve shown me. Its still quite surprising for me how it seems that at least at this moment we are going through almost the same things.. .i dont get it. Its almost the same circumstances and all. Very odd. But hey if it makes you stay close to me.. like if i have to go thru the same things that you go thru them its worth it.. hehe i love you honey. I wont forget you.”
Our absurdly long emails continued and so did life. Things seemed so good for you there in the States that I couldn't help but smile whenever you came to mind. But after a while Baby, I questioned myself as to why your emails became shorter and less frequent. I missed our long "open-heart-tell-you-everything-in-my-life" emails but had to understand that your life had changed and all the while mine was changing as well. 
In the period of four years’ time a birthday message or a quick "hi" was pretty much what it summed up to. And then I had the dream. It wasn’t too cool and you weren’t doing too well and so I wrote you about it and let you know you were in my prayers, remember? I guess since then God was trying to give me some kind of wakeup call - I am so sorry I failed to listen. I am so sorry...
And then we saw each other again...I was scared that we would be like strangers as you know, that happens quite often. You know the person like you know yourself and then you guys separate one from another and then when you see that person again you wonder and ask yourself if you ever really knew them at all...the "click" is just gone. But gladly it wasn't like that at all with you...we saw each other and talked all afternoon long. There was definitely still that connection. I caught up on the last four years of your life and you so did you on mine. 
My fellow Aries, always crazy and wild, full of adrenaline and never afraid to try the new, to get to know the unknown. Each day we spent together was better than the other. You knew how to make me laugh in the most tragic of situations and I am sure some of the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of my life were spent at your side. 
We went out clubbing at a "Baile Funk" and you stood up for me and "protected" me from the Green Shirt guy that got rough with me...what would I have done without you there, eh?
We then decided that we HAD to travel together to SP on the same day, same flight. And so I bought my ticket and we waited excitedly for our trip together. There I am sitting on my seat and... No Blee! I waited and then pretended to be a foreigner and called the pilot and made him stall the flight for 15 minutes. Still, no Blee. I arrived all by my lonesome self at the airport in SP and waited four long boring hours until the next flight arrived and you along in it. You were in tears, my ass was square from sitting down for so long and we were both starving - yet we managed to still laugh aloud, take "bathroom pictures" and make a ruckus at the restaurant we went to. 
Love, you were a great example of also putting others wants before your own. Another memory I won't forget is the night we both went on a "blind date" your sister set up for us, remember? Your guy was an awesome dude and mine...well, no comments. He had a bit too much to drink and we nicknamed him "GLS" as he decided to tell me in detail how to get to each place in SP in detail: roads, lanes, highways included! You were having the time of your life with your guy when you noticed by my face that I was dreading having to stand "my guy" and so you looked at me and said: "Do you want to go? Go back home with me and my guy - we'll give you a ride back home."
Me: "But how about you? Aren't you having fun here?"
You: "Yeah I am, but I don't want to stay here if you aren't having fun as well. Let's go. We can stop at a gas station and have fun just the three of us. C’mon!"
And just like that, you turned that night into another awesome experience! 
Blee, I don't know what led you to do what you did but one thing I do know is that everything that we went through together was more than worth it. You never judged me for what I would do, act or say and so I won't do so with you either. I dont understand why you sucicided yourself and I know that will always be an unsanswered question in this life but I dont want to judge you for it and despite what you did this last day of your life my love, thoughts and respcect for you stand the same as it always was. While you lived you made others’ lives better and just like you touched my life and we partook of so many great memories which I treasure in my heart; I am sure there are hundreds of other people that can say exactly the same thing. Thank you for making a mark in my life - not only through your life but through your death as well. If nothing else your death woke and shook me up to how important each one of our loved ones is and how much someone may mean to us. I wish I could have wrote all of this before and told you how much the times I spent with you meant to me and the impact you had in my life just by being the friend that you were. If I could go back in time I sure would and I'd try to change a lot of things, but since that is not possible you can at least know that you are the one responsible for my desire in wanting to be a better person and also for making me think about life and change my priorities in this new year of 2011. 
I am sad for myself but happy for you. Sad for myself because I know I will miss you. Happy for you because I know that you are in a better place; a place without suffering, sorrow or sadness. In a place where you will come to find true love and joy and where you can live life as you always dreamed it to be. Please lookout for me up there, ok?

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels.  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
Thomas Campbell

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
~Author Unknown

Unable are the loved to die.  For love is immortality.  ~Emily Dickinson