I feel like writing again. Actually, I have felt like this for a long time, but as always, time hasn’t been on my side and so I just wasn’t able to stop my busy schedule to sit down in front of Molly (what I affectionately call my laptop) and type away. But then a few things happened that made me end up in this point where I am right now: sitting in front of Molly and typing away.The first one was this guy... well, not any guy but a guy that I have been seeing every once in a while, here and there. I am not going to focus on our "dates" (if I could even call it that) because that is not my objective in this post.
Anyways, I was at this guy's apartment and we were talking when I blurted out something about my blog. His eyes all of a sudden lit up and he took out his i-phone and asked me to enter in my blog so he could see it. His enthusiasm and curiosity towards my blog lit up my own inspiration and desire to go back to being able to let out all my steam and stress as I used to do so faithfully before when I’d write for my blog. It wasn't a big thing - just a small momentary act - but that look seconded with his act turned on some inner spark inside of me and that was just the start.
It's not like I have ever thought about "ending my blog" or "not writing anymore" - not at all! It's just that posting on my blog stopped being a priority in my life as I let so many other areas of my life be put in first place.
The funny thing is that after this little occurrence happened, right out of the blue, I started receiving a lot of feedback on my blog. Friends, students, workmates, and even strangers started asking me about my blog and why I stopped posting. This made me think some more on how I needed to start prioritizing my life a bit more. And so since the beginning of this week I have been promising myself that I will stop and dedicate myself back to writing my blog. And right now - today - that is exactly what I am doing. I AM BACK TO BLOGGING!!!
Being a teacher is one of the most interesting professions there is - well, at least being a private English teacher.
You meet people from all kinds of different walks in life with life stories to tell, strange cultures, different ways of having being raised, opposite ways of being - each one with a rich background - which is just perfect for my fertile imagination.
I always loved teaching children when I was young; always thought and assured myself that this was my vocation in life. This is embarrassing to say, but I'd daydream in being a perfect housewife, homeschooling my little ones and still giving free classes to the poor children in my neighborhood community - and that would turn me into the perfect person with the perfect happy life. It was my little utopia. I even knew what names I'd name my children when they were born, what stories I'd read to them and the disciplining methods I'd impose as soon as they'd enter preteen hood.
But then I grew up. I traveled away from home at a very early age to start my own life without Mommy and Daddy by my side. And that fantasy dream of becoming a perfect, loving and caring teacher (and mother!)...well, it just disappeared! Just like that! As a teenager, living on my own in Rio I'd declare to all my friends: "Whatever may tie me down or is related to routine is just not for me! I wasn't made for that!!!"
But as I see myself inside the imposing Manhattan Center staring at its tall walls, the beige marble floor polished so clean that I could lick it, its modern architecture and marble surfaces, I squirm and ask myself: "What the hell am I doing here?" The answer quickly pops into my head: "To teach, what else? You are a teacher Christy, so what else would you be doing here?!"
And once again it dawns on me like it did so many times before in the last past 10 months: I am not a young 17 year old wearing old jeans and a T-shirt, a sloppy pony tail squatting in a children’s mat singing nursery rhymes. Trying to make a child stop their frantic cries for "mommy" is no longer one of my challenges nor is my greatest reward seeing that same tiny tot read its first phrases. I am not afraid anymore of what the day may bring, nor am I adapting to living alone without Mommy’s care, learning how to deal with everything that life brings on my own.
Nope. Now I am a 20 year old in a lace white shirt, pearl earrings, perfectly manicured red nails and a makeup job to match. My tight fitting social skirt only adds to the discomfort that my peep toes have been giving me all day.
Yes. You could say I "evolved" (I think so myself, not discarding though all the experience I regained in the past years as a young teacher).
I did grow and attain many things in life and anyone who'd sit down with me even for a moment and hear my life story might very well have their mouths wide open and agape, declaring that I am now a successful young woman with a bright career ahead of her. And the truth is I wouldn't be able to help but agree.
Yesterday I went to a Birthday Dinner Party. It was Ximena's father's Birthday. About five of my students were present (since they are all from the same family and company). During the party I met the brother of one of my students and we talked some. During a point in our conversation he blurted out: "You seem to be a very good teacher. I never saw a teacher that is so loved by her students."
That completely caught me off guard. I must have stayed in silence for a few seconds until I was finally able to answer: "Yeah. I am a good teacher. And it must be because I love what I do, and even more, I love my students."
When I arrived home I remembered what my student's brother had told me and that got me thinking.
Between teachers and educators it's a common cliché that the No.1 objective of every teacher should be that of helping their students learn how to study. Naturally, I always agreed with the above. But after having been a teacher for a while, my new point of view of an even better objective should be to help students learn to evaluate themselves.
Do the students recognize their true abilities? Do they have a notion of their faults? Are they realistic to the way others see them?
After all, the teacher helps his student more when he makes him reflect on his own self. The only means of us improving ourselves is by developing the ability of self-evaluation. If we can't do this with precision, how will we know if we have progressed or regressed?
I also try to do this with myself as much as possible. Get my life, break it up in bits and try to evaluate every area of it. Take a look at what I am doing and then check its outcome. And not only evaluate myself as a teacher, but also as a professional, friend, daughter, sister, student, workmate - as a person as a whole.
And as much as I know I progressed and reached many goals in my life I don’t want to leave it at that. I want more. MUCH MORE!!! I know my background, where I started from, who was there for me since the very beginning, the effort that it took me from the very start and those are things that will stick with me. My heritage won’t be forgotten. But on the other hand I won’t leave it at that. I will continue running after my dreams, evaluating myself, working for my goals and aiming at the highest goal. There is a common popular expression which says that things can always get worse. Mine is “Things can always get better!” If we work for that, why not, no?!!! :D
